7/20/2010 -
Posted by Allison -
1) Because the bouncer doesn't have a "turbo" setting.
2) Because I have to burp...again.
3) Because I have to spit up/projectile vomit across the room...again.
4) Because I just spit up/projectile vomited everything in my tummy...so I'm hungry.
5) Because when I pulled my binky out of my mouth my binky came out of my mouth.
6) Because I'm wearing something other than a sleeper.
7) Because I'm hungry and this side is broken.
8) Because I'm not in my swing.
9) Because it's between 8:15 and 10:00 pm
10) Because somebody other than Daddy is trying to get me to calm down*.
11) Because you people are horrible parents and I wish I'd never been born*.
12) Because I'm in my carseat/stroller and we're not moving...and that is dumb.
13) Because baby clothing designers are idiots and clothing has to go over my head.
14) Because mommy is in the shower.
15) Because I'm sitting in my own poop.
Thankfully, the baby doesn't yell very much**. However, to make up for it, both dogs have taken to howling when she does...just in case we didn't hear her.
*Applicable only during nine o'clock fussies
**Not applicable during nine o'clock fussies
6/25/2010 -
Posted by Allison -
1) Two hours of sleep in a row has suddenly become a luxury.
2) Burping the baby is an art form and I am lacking artistic talent (that's what daddies are for).
3) It doesn't seem physically possible for someone that small to generate that amount of noise/poop/spit up, and yet she can.
4) All things considered, the baby seems to take after our 95 pound lab mix more than Mike or me.
5) The baby is smaller, louder, and more in need of immediate attention than even our nine pound papillon. He isn't pleased.
6) C-sections are way easier than having impacted wisdom teeth removed.
7) Smartphones should be on all parent's list of "must have" baby supplies. Reading blogs during 2am feedings is pretty much the only thing that keeps me from falling asleep and rolling over on my child/pushing her out of bed/etc.
8) There is no reason to have the little stripes that indicate if the diaper needs changing on newborn diapers - they ALWAYS need changing.
9) I'll get around to those thank-you notes one of these days.
10) Motherhood is my new favorite. :)
6/06/2010 -
Posted by Allison -
If I hear "enjoy being pregnant while you can" or "they're so much easier to take care of before they're born" or "enjoy sleeping now" one more time I may actually punch someone. Seriously, people, do you REMEMBER your last month of pregnancy? Sleeping?! What is that?! I can't sleep unless I drug myself with copious amounts of Benadryl due to a) pressure points b) a really lumpy baby c) a rather active baby c) the fact that I can't breathe if I end up on my back and d) having to get up every half hours (seriously) to pee. Plus, getting out of bed has become so difficult I have honestly considered whether I should just sleep on the toilet. I am exhausted, I can barely walk, I can't get up from a seated position without help, I need help putting on pants, shaving my legs is a nightmare, and I am semi-nauseous all the time. Oh yeah, the baby kicks HARD, and I've been having what I think is false labor continously since Thursday (I actually left work early because I couldn't handle being in a seated position any longer). Most significantly, though, I just want to meet my child. So what part of this am I supposed to enjoy? I'm assuming that in the sleep-deprived state to come, formerly pregnant women forget about the "joys" of the last few weeks of pregnancy.
Okay, I'm done being crabby now. Just please, if you see me, don't mention anything about enjoying the time I have. Because you probably don't want a fat lip.
I'll be 38 weeks on Wednesday and as of two weeks ago the doctor said our June Bug could come at any time. I have another appointment tomorrow and I'm hoping I've made a little more progress as things hadn't moved as of last week. We are SO ready. Beside the aforementioned uncomfortable and cranky pregnant lady stuff, the nursery is more or less set, supplies have been purchased, the house is clean (including shampoo'd carpets), the car has been detailed, carseat and dog barrier installed etc.
Mike was in his friend Mike's (the other Mike) wedding this weekend in Madison. It was one of the nicest wedding I've ever attended. It was held in the Assembly Room at the Capitol, and like ours, was a civil ceremony. The bride and groom wrote their own vows and did such an impressive job expressing their feelings and commitment to each other without being sacchrine or cliched. The ceremony lasted about 20 minutes total, which was nice as well. One of the bridesmaid's gave a toast in Klingon, which was possibly the most hysterical thing I've ever seen at a wedding. I more or less vegetated on Sarah's couch between the ceremony and reception and I made it through dinner and the reception toasts and then went to Julie's as I was exhausted. It is so wonderful to have friends who encourage the use of their couches whenever I need them!
As ready as I am for this pregnancy to be over, and to meet our booboo and move on to the challenge of being new parents, I was relieved she didn't decide to make her appearance this weekend. We had all sorts of contingency plans, but it would've been a hassle having to rush back to Lancaster or make the decision to stay in Madison and figure out which hospital would accept us. (Also, I had the car detailed, and I would have been a little fixated on having not accomplished that if I'd gone into labor before it was taken care of).
But at this point, we've cleared our schedule and must wait for a small, naked girl, who has never actually breathed air, to make the call. Peanut, your mommy really really really really wants to meet you, and frankly, you're getting kinda heavy.
On a completely unrelated note, my baby brother is getting married in August to his lovely girlfriend (now fiancee) Sonya. We'll all be flying to Ouray, CO for a very small ceremony and a presumably lovely weekend in the mountains. I can't wait!
